Cheryl Gould on moving goalposts, the red flags to spot before you say yes, and five steps to rethink how you work.
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Why This Conversation Matters
We were told the rules.
Keep your head down. Get the degree. Get the certifications. Wear the right blazer. Work harder than everybody else, and one day somebody will tap you on the shoulder.
Cheryl Gould followed those rules. She’s been working since she was 15 and in HR for more than 30 years, on both sides of the table: the company’s and the people’s. And she’s here to tell you what she learned the hard way:
Nobody is coming to tap you on the shoulder.
She got the title with no support. The salary, and missed bedtimes with her kids. The office, and crying in it. She got named “the fixer,” the one they called when things fell apart, until they didn’t need fixing anymore. Then came the severance package.
And when she spoke well, she heard: “You articulate really well, but that’s just not how we talk around here.”
Too pulled together? That’s a conversation. Not pulled together enough? Also a conversation. The goalpost moves every time, and Cheryl says it’s rooted in fear.
A comment from our community put it plainly:
“Just looking better than them is enough to shake them.”
This episode is for anyone who did everything right and still got told it wasn’t enough. And for the job seeker who wants to spot the red flags before signing the offer letter.
In This Episode, You’ll Learn
» Why “keep your head down and it will come” never worked
» What happens when you get the title but not the support
» The questions to ask before you accept a job, and what the answers tell you
» Why “we’re a family” deserves a follow-up question
» A five-step framework to rethink how you work
» What “performing” really means, and how to stop
Timestamps
(03:10) “We don’t work like we have to perform for a paycheck no more”
(07:02) Why keeping your head down just silences you
(08:44) The title, the salary, and no support
(15:18) Being “the fixer,” then being let go
(26:14) Red flags to spot before you take the job
(31:13) Why “we’re a family” is a red flag
(50:48) Five steps to rethink how you work
(1:03:36) 60 seconds uninterrupted: the lie we were told about professionalism
Frameworks You Can Steal
1) The Job Search Check: Structure, Metrics, Support, Culture
The interview is just as much for you as it is for them. Before you say yes, ask:
Structure: Why is this role open? How long was the last person in it, and where did they go?
Metrics: What will I be measured on? How is performance managed here?
Support: What support will I get to hit those goals? How does development happen?
Culture: How are women recognized and promoted? Who’s on the senior leadership team?
Translation: everything is data. If they can’t answer, that’s an answer.
2) “We’re a Family” Deserves a Follow-Up Question
When a workplace calls itself a family, accountability can become personal. Boundaries get treated like betrayal, favorites get protected, and employees are expected to prove loyalty beyond the job.
Translation: what you want is collaboration and open communication. When they say “family,” ask what they mean.
3) Rethink Work in Five Steps
- Check your fear. Where are you giving the most of yourself, and why?
- Unpack it with someone you trust. A therapist, a coach, or a trusted friend.
- Name the scarcity. What story is driving the overwork?
- Check your urgency. Not everything is urgent.
- Say the new boundary out loud. “After 8 p.m., I’ll get it the next day.”
Translation: overworking doesn’t prevent the bad outcome. It just creates burnout.
4) Name the Performance
If you have to be somebody else, that’s a performance. If you have to deny or shrink, that’s a performance. If you can’t raise your hand and say what you really think, that’s a performance.
Translation: silence can be strategic. It can also look like agreement.
Pause + Reflect
Where are you giving the most of yourself right now?
Where are you performing instead of showing up as you?
If the goalpost keeps moving, what would it look like to stop chasing it?
Get the Receipts
Whether you’re staying, job hunting, or somewhere in between, start by sorting out what’s actually happening.
👉 Get the free workplace roadmap
Connect With Cheryl
- Website: cheryldgould.com
- Instagram: @cheryldgouldconsulting
- LinkedIn: Cheryl D. Gould
Come Into the Room
Conversations like this open something. The She Don’t Work Like That No More™ Community is where you figure out what to do with it: live sessions, scripts and tools, and people who get it, whether you’re stabilizing, documenting, repositioning, or leaving.
Not ready yet? Join the Corporate Side Eyers, our free Instagram group.
If this episode named something for you, a quick rating or review helps it reach the next person who needs it.
This podcast is for educational and reflective purposes only and does not constitute legal, medical, or therapeutic advice.
- You Don’t Have to Perform for a Paycheck
- The Operational Trust Index™: The Pressure A Founder Can Feel but Can’t Name
- She Was Called Strong. And It Almost Cost Her Everything.
- Episode 4: How to Take Feedback Without Losing Yourself as a Leader
- Episode 3: STOP Saying “I Work Better Under Pressure”. It’s a Trauma Pattern
